I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
