Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
