your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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