Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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