a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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