worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
