Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
