she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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