how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
