Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
