If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
