you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize