Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
