Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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