the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
