I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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