So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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