ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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