I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
