Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
