i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize