im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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