i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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