Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
