do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
