Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
