I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
