just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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