So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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