Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
