I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
