I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
