I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
