I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
