I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
