I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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