Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
