Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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