My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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