he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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