Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize