At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Boobs speak an international language.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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