Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
