My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
