You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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