I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
