I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
