Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
