hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it hurts more in the daytime
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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