Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
