the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
