I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
