i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
