I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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