Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
