we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
