honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
