508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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