Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
