the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
