i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
